MacDestro
by Cadet Deming
Summary: Shakespeare's play retooled and modernized for the Cobra High Command
1. Chapter 1

"MacDestro" Chapter 1  
  
By: Cadet Deming  
  
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Reviews are very welcome.  
  
Setting: Scotland  
  
Starring:  
  
Destro................Macbeth  
  
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth  
  
Serpentor............. King Duncan  
  
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo  
  
Billy..................Fleance  
  
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor  
  
Zartan................MacDuff  
  
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain  
  
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters  
  
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters  
  
Tomax/Xamot ................Lennox  
  
The soldier in the tattered blue uniform limped the fastest he could, despite the agonizing pain from the bullet lodged in his left leg. Although he was injured and bleeding, he was more afraid of incurring the wrath of the Emperor of his terrorist group Cobra, than of his wound.  
  
Panting heavily, the man finally entered the drab camouflage tent that served as the temporary headquarters for Cobra's leadership. The place was a hive of activity, as various men in blue and red uniforms scurried about in the confusion of trying to come up with a plan to control the chaos of war.  
  
At the center of the flurry in the tent a man was leaning over a map. Even though he was hunched over, he towered over everyone else due to his massive size and elaborate snake-head costume.  
  
"Hail Serpentor, Emperor of Cobra! I bring you news from the battlefield," the injured man said.  
  
The man in the snake-head costume stood up, with his eyes narrowed to slits.  
  
"Private Anderson. I ordered your report to be delivered 15 minutes after our enemies the Joes knocked our radio communications out. YOU'RE LATE!"  
  
"I'm sorry your majesty. I was shot."  
  
"NO EXCUSES! When Serpentor demands results, Serpentor gets results NOW! NOW! NOW! So tell me, what news do you have from our Western front?"  
  
"Well the good news is, Cobra Commander's battalion captured the town of Springfield, Scotland. And Lord Destro shot and killed the Joes' leader General Hawk."  
  
Serpentor's manner softened with glee: "General Hawk dead. You bring good news indeed. So what's the bad news?"  
  
Private Anderson gulped. "The bad news, well, Field Marshall Major Bludd turned himself in to the Joes. He's gone traitor sir."  
  
A gasp permeated the room.  
  
"Major Bludd dares betray me? I'll have him staked out on an anthill covered in honey! I'll have him disemboweled with rusty steak-knives! I'll-I'll I'll have his eyelids propped open and make him watch 'Facts of Life' reruns! I hereby order that whatever Cobra platoon captures the place that holds Major Bludd and brings him to me to get a 500% pay increase, on Tomax and Xamot's expense of course. THIS I COMMAND!"  
  
Private Anderson asked: "But Lord Serpentor, who's going to be Cobra's Field Marshall now?"  
  
"As a reward for his good service, have Destro appointed to that rank."  
  
A bald man with a monocle stepped forward. He was nervously pulling on his mustache as he said: "Excuse me, Oh Great Serpentor, but you're not returning Destro to Cobra's second-in-command? That's supposed to be MY JOB."  
  
"No, Dr. Mindbender, I don't trust Destro to be properly subservient to my radiance. As much as it pains me to do so, I'll appoint Cobra Commander second in command as a public reward for the capture of Springfield, Scotland.  
  
Mindbender protested: "But, what about me your majesty? Why am I getting demoted?"  
  
"Because you never win battles for me. But you can still be my toadying side-kick."  
  
"And the laughs just keep on coming," muttered the doctor under his breath.  
  
"What about me sir," asked Private Anderson.  
  
"As a reward for bringing good news, I'll have you shot quickly. No one can be late and live. Take this man outside and terminate him!"  
  
"WHAT! No! No!" screamed the hapless private as two men dragged him outside.  
  
Serpentor turned to a group of soldiers and ordered: "Notify Destro and Cobra Commander of their promotions. This I command!" 


	2. Chapter 2

"MacDestro" Chapter 2  
  
By: Cadet Deming  
  
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed or eliminated for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Thanks to the people that are enjoying it. Reviews are very welcome.  
  
Author's note: I am mixing modernized humor with the tragedy of the original play, so hopefully that will offend no Shakespeare purists. Only instead of drunken porters or witches bragging about tormenting sailors for comic relief, there's....you'll see.  
  
Setting: Scotland  
  
Starring:  
  
Destro................Macbeth  
  
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth  
  
Serpentor............. King Duncan  
  
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo  
  
Billy..................Fleance  
  
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor  
  
Zartan................MacDuff  
  
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain  
  
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters  
  
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters  
  
Tomax/Xamot ..............Lennox  
  
Cobra Commander............Malcolm  
  
Three scruffy-looking men sat around a campfire on a heath by the side of a road. They were covered in mud, and were drinking bottles of "Uncle Winkins' Hard Grape Soda" like it was water.  
  
"So anyway, I was in this motel room, and I was shaggin' these two lesbians," said a man with a reddish beard.  
  
"But Torch, if they were lesbians, wot were they doin' in bed wit you mate," asked a man with a black beard.  
  
"Because Ripper, Torch is wot makes women think they're lesbians in tha' first place," sneered the man with a long greasy blonde ponytail.  
  
"Shove it up yer arse Buzzer. I really did have a manage-er-minaj-er wotever it's called with two girls at once!"  
  
"You kin barely get 1 girl to shag you," said Buzzer.  
  
"That ain't true. Plenty 'o' girls ask me 'Hey baby, lookin fer a date'. And by the side 'o' the street too. Actually, these two girls were 'ookers. And they kinda charged me extra for everythin'. And they seemed to like havin' sex with each other more than they did with me. It kinda hurt me feelins. That and they stole me wallet. Except it wasn't really me wallet, it was one I picked offa some tourist earlier. So I guess it wadn't a total loss."  
  
"Torch, the next time we sit around tellin' stories about our 'prowess', JUST DON'T TALK," said Buzzer.  
  
At that moment, a Cobra tank pulled over 50 feet away from the camp. The hatch opened, and two men climbed down from it.  
  
The first man was dressed head-to-toe in white. He was short, but moved quickly and had a powerful build. Of Asian descent, he covered the lower half of his face with a mask. The effect made him seem all the more mysterious.  
  
His companion on the other hand, covered his entire head with a berylium steel faceplate. It was silver in color, but the flames from the campfire reflected on it in patterns of red and gold.  
  
The three men stopped slouching and stood at attention as the two newcomers strode towards them.  
  
"What is this sheer idiocy? By lighting a fire here, you Drednoks may as well be painting a target on yourselves for enemy fire. Storm- shadow and I could spot you on infrared 10 miles away," said the man in the steel mask with anger. His voice was deep, and had a touch of a Scottish lilt in it.  
  
"But Destro, ya did such a great job on those Joes today, we ain't gotta worry about 'im no more. In fact, we were just talkin' about wot a great leader ya are," said Buzzer.  
  
"We we're?" asked Torch, scratching his head quizzically.  
  
Ripper kicked him.  
  
"Oh, yeah, we we're," Torch said, nodding his head until he snapped a muscle and had to grab his own neck in pain.  
  
"Yeah Destro, we were just talkin' about how yer the greatest leader Cobra's ever seen. In fact, yer even better than Serpentor or Cobra Commander, not that that's hard. If you were Cobra's Field Marshall, we'd a beat those Joes 20 years ago," oozed Buzzer.  
  
"Yeah mate, maybe someday you'll be Cobra's Field Marshall, or even Emperor. It's yer destiny," said Ripper.  
  
Storm-Shadow crossed his arms and said: "If you mercenary Drednoks did not have the excuse of your ignorance, I would kill you where you stand with my Arashikage Ninja Kung-Fu death grip for your dishonor of your masters."  
  
"Aw. Come off it Storm-Shadow. You Ninja-types act like yer takin over Cobra yerselves, but yer just the 'ired 'elp. Yer student Billy, now HE could rule Cobra, but that's only 'cause Cobra Commander is 'is father," said Buzzer.  
  
Although Storm-Shadow's face was partially covered, the anger on it was fully exposed by the fury that flashed in his dark eyes. His right hand went to the hilt of the Kitana blade he always carried, but Destro stopped him.  
  
"At ease my friend. These low-lifes aren't worth the effort. They're just full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Let's get back to the tank. My wife Baroness Anastasia is expecting us back at my castle." The two comrades walked back to the Cobra vehicle.  
  
In the background, Ripper could be heard saying, "So I was in bed with this Sports Illustrated Victoria's Secret Swimsuit Push-Up Bra Model...."  
  
Destro and Storm-shadow closed the tank hatch and took off down the road. They traveled for a few miles when an AV screen in the driving area started to beep.  
  
"I see we've re-established tele-communications. This is Destro. Speak," said the silver-masked man as some soldiers' faces flashed across the console.  
  
"Lord Destro, we've been trying to contact you for hours. Major Bludd turned traitor and Serpentor has promoted you to take his place effectively, immediately. You're Cobra's new Field Marshall," said one of the men.  
  
"Why thank you. Thank Serpentor for the recognition. Roger out," Destro said as the screen changed back to black.  
  
"I hear the sound of hell freezing over. The Drednoks were actually right about something. Their prediction came true," said Storm-Shadow.  
  
"If they were correct about the Field Marshall position, could they also be correct about me commanding all of Cobra? HMMM. Destiny."  
  
As Destro navigated the tank he barely concentrated on the road. All he could see was power. 


	3. Chapter 3

"MacDestro" Chapter 3  
  
By: Cadet Deming  
  
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed or eliminated for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Thanks to the people that are enjoying it. Reviews are very welcome.  
  
Author's note: I am mixing modernized humor with the tragedy of the original play, so hopefully that will offend no Shakespeare purists. Only instead of drunken porters or witches bragging about tormenting sailors for comic relief, there's....you'll see.  
  
Setting: Scotland  
  
Starring:  
  
Destro................Macbeth  
  
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth  
  
Serpentor............. King Duncan  
  
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo  
  
Billy..................Fleance  
  
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor  
  
Zartan................MacDuff  
  
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain  
  
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters  
  
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters  
  
Tomax/Xamot ..............Lennox  
  
Cobra Commander............Malcolm  
  
A tall, striking woman with black hair and glasses sat down at a dark oak desk. She wore a skin-tight leather uniform with a Crimson Cobra emblem across the front. In one hand she held a glass of sparkling champagne. In the other she held a communications link, which she clicked to: "Play Messages."  
  
A mechanical recorded voice stated: "Hello. You have 3 new messages."  
  
BEEP:  
  
"Hello Baroness Anastasia DeCobray. It's Doctor Hoefflin-Hundtkinder of the Bern Institute in Switzerland. I'm calling to follow up and see that your latest surgery is healing correctly."  
  
Anastasia ran one short but impeccably manicured blood-red fingernail against a tiny scar behind her hairline.  
  
She said: "Yes the facelift is fine. I look 10 years younger. Even if I feel 20 years older."  
  
BEEP:  
  
"Hello. It's Destro. You may have received the good news already. I was promoted to Field Marshall as Major Bludd turned traitor. I always knew that mercenary pirate-wannabe had no loyalty. Anyway, I have more interesting news. I ran into the Drednoks, and they actually predicted I'd be made Field Marshall beforehand. Odd. Anyhow, I should be back at the castle in a few more hours."  
  
BEEP:  
  
"Baroness, this is Serpentor. Since I'm in the area, my entourage and I will be staying in your castle tonight. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. I want maid service, fresh linens, Godiva chocolates on my pillow, and checkout the moment I get out of bed. But I don't want those strange triangles folded into my toilet paper. That's just -------disturbing. And there better not be any giant spiders or mutant demons in your basement again. Can't you people have normal pets? Oh, by the way, your husband got promoted and Cobra Commander is back as second-in-command. But enough about other people, let me tell you about MY MILITARY EXPLOITS!"  
  
The Baroness clicked the communications link to "Silent".  
  
"What does he think my castle is, the Plaza Hotel? If Destro ruled Cobra I wouldn't have to put up with this crap."  
  
At that moment, the door to the bedroom opened and Destro entered.  
  
"Destro DAAAAAAAAHHHHLIIIINNNNNNNG! Congratulations!" she said, as she stood up and hugged him, while still strategically balancing her glass of champagne.  
  
The two of them kissed briefly and pulled away.  
  
Destro frowned at the champagne in the Baroness's hand and said: "You know, I don't want to sound confrontational, but it does seem like you've been drinking a bit much these days. I'm concerned about your health."  
  
"You're right. Perhaps I've been too dependent on alcohol to calm my nerves lately. I should switch to Quaaludes. They're much less fattening."  
  
"Speaking of needing ones nerves calmed, did you hear that Serpentor and the rest of the Cobra High Command will be staying here tonight?"  
  
"Yes. I got a message about it. You know, this could be the opportunity for you to take control of Cobra once and for all. If Serpentor never wakes up tomorrow....."  
  
"Are you proposing I murder the Emperor in my own ancestral home? I could never do such a thing!"  
  
"This isn't your infamous on-again, off-again sense of honor kicking in again?"  
  
"Of course not. I'm just worried about getting caught. I'd be the prime suspect."  
  
"I think I can shift the blame elsewhere. When our test-tube terrorist tyrant and his hangers-on arrive, be as gracious and boot-licking a host as possible. And leave the rest to me Destro. Leave the rest to me." 


	4. Chapter 4

"MacDestro" Chapter 4  
  
By: Cadet Deming  
  
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed or eliminated for brevity. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult language and situations. Thanks to the people that are enjoying it. Reviews are very welcome.  
  
Author's note: I apologize for the long delay. (Especially to Lady Destro) I got a little writer's block on this. Some of these chapters will be more serious.  
  
Setting: Scotland  
  
Starring: Destro................Macbeth The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth Serpentor............. King Duncan Storm-Shadow..............Banquo Billy..................Fleance Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor Zartan................MacDuff Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters Tomax/Xamot ..............Lennox Cobra Commander............Malcolm  
  
The Baroness walked down stairs to the grand foyer that marked the entrance to Destro's castle. The room was paneled in luxurious wood, and decorated with elaborate tapestries and paintings of nobility. Yet an air of mustiness seemed to fill it, as if the carvings and weavings were a façade for mold and decay.  
  
A group of men were gathered at the base of the stairway. Serpentor stood in the middle, with Storm-shadow, Dr. Mindbender, Cobra Commander and several soldiers.  
  
Anastasia ignored them all in favor of the Emperor, and gushed: "Oh great Serpentor, it's such an honor for you to stay at my home," as she and he began to walk down the hallway, leaving the other men in the background.  
  
"As if I had a choice about where to stay. It's not like the heaths and moors of Scotland have any decent hotels worthy of my radiance. And what's that ugly painting over there? Was that woman in a leper's colony?" asked Serpentor.  
  
"That happens to be my mother."  
  
"Take it down. My surroundings must please me! Especially since there's a delay in Zartan and the Twins not being able to arrive until tomorrow. You know how I hate to wait. What's that horrible floral stench?"  
  
"It happens to be my Chanel #5. Or would you like me to change my perfume as well? What scent would you prefer? I'd do anything you ask," said the Baroness, flipping her mane suggestively.  
  
Serpentor took a long look at her, drinking her in for a moment. A beat passed between them. Then he said: "BLOOD".  
  
"Only if it's from our enemies the Joes, oh great Serpentor. But I'm sure under your fine leadership, and Destro's aid, victory will be Cobra's soon."  
  
"Yes, where is Destro?"  
  
"Oh, he's very eager to see you my lord. We've both been waiting for your arrival. Badly."  
  
SEVERAL HOURS LATER  
  
Destro sat in front of a computer console. The lights on the screen reflected on the battlemask he wore, as he typed the following:  
  
"I may as well get this over with, before my doubts cloud my mind again. Over the course of my life, I have strived to balance ruthlessness with honor, criminality with a moral code. But the valor of soldiers, the code of decorum of war, all depends upon loyalty. Do I really wish to betray my allegiance to my emperor, tip the delicate balance of my being towards immorality from my own ambition? The man is an unsuspecting guest in my own home. He holds the memories of history's greatest conquerors, men I studied and revered. Who am I to end his..."  
  
"Writing in a journal Destro? You may as well be talking to yourself in a room that's bugged for the risk of getting caught," hissed the Baroness who had crept up behind him.  
  
Destro quickly pressed "delete" and turned and faced her.  
  
"I must express myself freely you know, and MY CHAMBERS ARE BUGGED?"  
  
"They're not bugged. Believe me, I checked. And am I not supposed to be your greatest confidant. Oh, wait a moment," said Baroness, as she ran her fingertips along Destro's shoulder. "I'm your ONLY confidant."  
  
"Has Serpentor asked for me?"  
  
"But of course, Darling Destro. You are his...generous host," she said winking.  
  
"We will proceed no farther in this business. I've thought things through, and it's too risky. If Serpentor died in my ancestral home, I would take the blame anyhow, and be held accountable for failing to protect him. It would be a sign of weakness on my part."  
  
"A sign of weakness? Like pouring out your cowardice to a computer, and failing to seize power when it's finally mine-----ours for the taking?"  
  
"I think we should wait for a more opportune time. Strategy requires patience, and not impulse."  
  
"Wait? You want to wait again? Like how we both kept waiting for the right time to have a child, remember? You kept saying, 'Not now Anastasia, in a few years'. We waited until I had 3 miscarriages and went through menopause. You weren't even man enough to give me a son or daughter, you could at least be enough of a man to make me an Empress."  
  
Destro winced through her words. Even under his mask his eyes betrayed how hurt he was.  
  
"You could be Empress if we succeed. But what if we fail?"  
  
"We fail? Hardly. We'll make the 2 Vipers that guard Serpentor the patsies. I'll drug them, and frame them as CIA agents, since the Joes are too goody-goody to try something like this."  
  
"Sometimes, Anastasia. I think if you were a man you would have taken over Cobra yourself long ago. I will go through with this."  
  
"Thank you. I'm happy living vicariously through you in the meantime." She squeezed his shoulder and said: "I'll do the acting work and pretend to be grieved when the body is found."  
  
Destro pulled out a gun and placed a silencer on it. "I'll go now. I suppose my battle-mask won't be the only false front here tomorrow."  
  
The sound of the silencer clicking on the chamber echoed in the room. 


	5. Chapter 5

"MacDestro" Chapter 5  
  
By: Cadet Deming  
  
It's back! I apologize for the long delay; I had writer's block on this one. But in deference to the Colton "Alternate Universe" nomination it got, I'm committed to finishing it. I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed for brevity, others fleshed out more. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder adult language and situations. Thanks to Slayne for beta-ing. Thanks to the good reviews before (and more apologies for the delay) Reviews are very welcome. PS, the last chapter ended with Destro going to kill Serpentor.  
  
Setting: Scotland  
  
Starring:  
  
Destro................Macbeth  
  
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth  
  
Serpentor............. King Duncan  
  
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo  
  
Billy..................Fleance  
  
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor  
  
Zartan................MacDuff  
  
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain  
  
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters  
  
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters  
  
Tomax/Xamot ................Lennox  
  
Cobra Commander.............Malcolm  
  
"The Freds".............Various soldiers  
  
Two men in grungy gray uniforms sat on either side of a tall oak doorway. There was a heavy rain beating outside, punctuated by the sharp cracks of thunder and lightning.  
  
"Hey Fred 323, why'd Destro assign us Septic-Vipers to guard Serpentor anyway? You'd think he'd have his own Iron Grenadiers guardin' the dude," said one of them.  
  
Fred 323 shifted his anxious gaze from the din outside to the door he and his companion were supposed to be protecting and said: "Because Fred 321, Serpentor threw the last Iron Grenadier that guarded him into a wall for bringin' his breakfast 30 seconds late, and the last tele-viper that guarded him got his neck snapped in half for blinkin' at him too much."  
  
"Dude, I hate this job," said Fred 321, shuddering.  
  
The lightning cracked again, illuminating the hallway and casting odd shadows from the various suits of armor, statues, and weapons of death displayed near the walls.  
  
"Dude, this job freaks me out. When I get freaked out, I get the munchies. Ya got anything besides C-rations to eat?"  
  
"Yeah. Some brownies."  
  
"Hey, wait a sec, ya didn't get these from Dr. Mindbender did ya? The last Viper that ate one of Mindbender's brownies got SARS and Mad Cow disease 3 days later."  
  
"Of course not. Didja think I'm stupid? They're perfectly safe. THEY'RE FROM THE BARONESS!"  
  
"Cool! Funny, she doesn't seem like the domestic-tated type."  
  
"Ehh, probably microwaved. That's why they smell kinda funny."  
  
Both men wolfed them down greedily.  
  
"So, whydja join Cobra in the first place, and don't say 'cause Snake-eyes killed my brother', cause everyone says that," asked Fred 321.  
  
"Oh, well I got a degree in Accounting at the University of Southern California. GO TROJANS! Cause that was like, the first major on the list, and then I lost my job when Arthur Anderson went under and I couldn't get another real job. Some people are so touchy about fudgin' a few numbers here and there. So I got a few debits and credits mixed up and blew a few people's 401 K retirements, big freakin deal, it's not like they wound up homeless.....well......some did. Then I wound up in Cobra and in the Crimson Guard Academy," said Fred 323.  
  
"Do ya think we'll ever get back in the Crimson Guard?"  
  
"Well, I hear they're recruitin' for the Python Patrol Crimson Guard. Maybe we got a shot," said Fred 323, yawning.  
  
Both Freds were getting increasingly more sluggish.  
  
"But, Crimson is ssssssssposed to be a color right? So..... how can we be Python-colored Crimson Guards," asked Fred 321.  
  
"Python isn't a color, dumbass."  
  
"But it'ssssss sssssssstill..like..a pattern. There's gotta be a red- colored python snake out there someplace."  
  
"I dunno. The big sssssssnake near my housssssse...in Encino was green with a yellow stripe on it. It used to...... hang out in my backyard sometimes. Sssssscared the shit outta me..... when I was a kid."  
  
"That wassssssss a garden hosssssssse, dumbass."  
  
"Uh.I.knew that," said Fred 323, turning away and licking the last crumbs of his brownie from his fingers.  
  
"Dude, do you feel.kinda funny," slurred Fred 321.  
  
Both men's pupils dilated intensely.  
  
"Yeah, like, Pink Floyd's The Wall makesssssss sssssssense now."  
  
The Freds both keeled over onto the floor, unconscious.  
  
The lightning cracked again, flooding the hallway with more twisted misshapen shadows. Among the silhouettes of battle axes and busts of fallen warriors, one shadow stood out, the outline of a man who strode purposefully but silently towards the now unguarded door.  
  
Destro paused to put on gloves, as he unlocked the chamber and entered it, his right hand reaching for a gun in his side-holster.  
  
He walked towards the large four-poster bed that Serpentor slept in. The emperor's ceremonial snake-headdress and uniform was draped on a vertical hanger in the middle of the room.  
  
Destro noted how seemingly harmless the sleeping man looked without it. His deep-seated sense of honor crept back in his mind again. He questioned if Serpentor truly deserved to die like this, murdered in his sleep instead of in the glory of battle, killed in his most defenseless state by the act of a coward. The word "coward" echoed in Destro's thoughts.  
  
DING-DONG DING-DONG  
  
The clock struck midnight. To Destro's horror Serpentor stirred awake from its clanging.  
  
He quickly hid behind the hanging uniform. He held his breath, afraid to make any noise, and prayed that the rain outside would drown out the sound of his own heartbeat, which pounded in his ears, mocking his need for silence.  
  
Destro peered carefully through the drapes of the uniform, watching the emperor after what seemed like an eternity finally settle back down in the sheets. Hamlet complex ended, he aimed the gun through the folds at Serpentor's eye and pulled the trigger. 


	6. Chapter 6

"MacDestro" Chapter 6  
  
By: Cadet Deming  
  
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't  
  
sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High  
  
Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene  
  
structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes  
  
condensed for brevity, others fleshed out more. Based on a blending  
  
of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder, adult  
  
language and situations. Thanks to the people who are enjoying it,  
  
and reviews are very welcome.  
  
Setting: Scotland  
  
Starring:  
  
Destro................Macbeth  
  
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth  
  
Serpentor............. King Duncan  
  
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo  
  
Billy..................Fleance  
  
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor  
  
Zartan................MacDuff  
  
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain  
  
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters  
  
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters  
  
Tomax/Xamot ................Lennox  
  
Cobra Commander.............Malcolm  
  
"The Freds".............Various soldiers  
  
Destro returned to his chambers, locking the door behind him.  
  
The Baroness ran towards him and asked excitedly: "Is the deed done?  
Is Serpentor finally out of our hair?"  
  
"Yes my dear. The tranquilizers you gave the guards knocked  
  
them out dead cold. Although I doubt I'll be sleeping as soundly from  
now."  
  
"I wouldn't let it trouble you, darling Destro." She reached  
  
around and hugged him, grinning wildly. And then her grin turned to a  
frown as her hands wrapped around the bulge of Destro's right-hand  
holster.  
  
"The gun! You didn't plant it on the soldiers?"  
  
"I'm sorry Anastasia, I'm not as used to back-stabbing and  
  
treason as you are. Besides, it makes little difference, the guards  
will be held responsible automatically."  
  
"Because, bullets can be traced back to the gun they were  
  
fired from with forensics. Don't you watch CSI Miami? Look, I'll go  
plant it myself," she said, taking the gun in her gloved hand as she  
left the room.  
  
Destro sat in a chair with his masked face in his hands as he  
  
awaited his wife's return. As the adrenaline wore off, the magnitude  
of the night's events began to haunt his mind. The rain came to a  
stop, making the second guesses and guilt echo even louder in his  
head.  
  
"There's blood on my hands, yes Anastasia," he sighed.  
  
Finally the Baroness returned, a predatory smirk curled on  
  
her lips. "I'm finished. The sedatives I gave the guards should be  
wearing off any moment now. We just need to sit back..and let Cobra  
history unfold."  
  
A loud doorbell rang in the bedroom.  
  
"Zartan and the Crimson Guard Commanders must be arriving,"  
  
said Destro.  
  
"Let your Iron Grenadier Soldiers greet and stall them for a  
  
little while. We need to establish our `fast asleep' alibis."  
  
Meanwhile, down by Destro's castle gate..  
  
A group of Cobra STUN tanks pulled up to the gate of the  
  
castle. The soldiers parked them on the muddy ground and walked  
  
towards the entrance.  
  
Three men strode purposefully towards it, ahead of the rest.  
  
Two were clearly identical twins. The third remained covered with a  
brown hood.  
  
A mangy-looking dog chained nearby started barking at them,  
  
straining against its leash.  
  
"Dogs. I bloody hate dogs. They always go insane around me  
  
because of my chameleon DNA," said the third man, pulling back the  
hood to reveal his Goth-makeup stained face.  
  
"What do you expect us to do Zartan," asked one of the twins.  
  
"Shoot the poor beast," said his brother.  
  
"A rather rude re-payment of Destro's hospitality," they both  
  
finished.  
  
"Screw Destro's `hospitality' Tomax and Xamot. I'd rather be  
  
jailed by the Joes than spend any more time than I have to with this  
uppity, holier-than-thou bloke."  
  
The dog continued, barking in frenzy.  
  
Zartan stared at it, and then growled in a voice that sounded  
  
like a rabid Rottweiler, as opposed to a human mimicking an animal.  
  
"YELP YELP ARP ARP ARP," squealed the dog, running away with  
  
its tail between its legs.  
  
Zartan flashed a haughty sneer at the twins as he lit up a  
  
cigar.  
  
Tomax and Xamot exchanged a look with each other and then  
  
followed Zartan as he rang the doorbell.  
  
Several minutes later, some of Destro's Iron Grenadiers  
  
opened it and ushered them inside the foyer.  
  
"Where sorry, Destro really should be here soon," said one.  
  
"Don't let him hurry, REALLY," said Zartan as he sat in an  
  
expensive looking stuffed tapestry covered chair. He draped his leg  
insolently over the armrest as he puffed on his cigar.  
  
The twins made small talk with the IG's until Destro finally  
  
appeared coming down the staircase, clad in a gaudy silk bathrobe  
  
that hung open in the front.  
  
"Ah Tomax and Xamot, welcome. It's so good to see you. We  
  
really must catch up on that Northern Irish arms deal," he said,  
  
yawning and stretching melodramatically.  
  
Zartan cast a disdainful eye on Destro's attire. "Hello pimp-  
  
daddy Destro. Nice castle you've got here. You must have worked  
  
really hard to get yanked out of the right crotch to inherit this  
  
place," he said, taking another drag on his cigar.  
  
"Yes, Zartan, but after housing everyone else, I'm afraid all  
  
of the bedrooms are taken. But there's room for you to sleep in the  
stables. They're far more suitable accommodations for you."  
  
"All 150 bedrooms?"  
  
"One-hundred and forty-seven to be exact. The Baroness had 3  
  
converted to shoe closets for her Manolo Blahniks. And, there's no  
smoking here," he said, locking his steely gaze on Zartan's face.  
  
Zartan inhaled another drag on the cigar as the two men  
  
glared at each other.  
  
"Fine," he said, putting the cigar out on the antique chair's  
  
upholstery. The stench of burning fabric fermented the room.  
  
"That is the last straw you insolent." Destro bellowed as he  
  
started towards Zartan.  
  
"Wait gentleman, please," said Tomax and Xamot as they  
  
stepped between the two belligerent men.  
  
"We're all Cobras here, we should.," said Tomax.  
  
"..Try to get along," said Xamot.  
  
"On second thought.,"  
  
"Cobra's never get along,"  
  
"Forget we said anything," chimed both brothers.  
  
"..but we do have a lot of," said Tomax.  
  
"Business to discuss with Destro," said Xamot.  
  
"And Zartan don't you..."  
  
"..have a paycheck to"  
  
".collect from Serpentor," finished both twins.  
  
At the word `paycheck', Zartan's eyes lit up and he  
  
said: "That's right. Where is he?"  
  
"In the 23rd bedroom at the end of the hall. The sooner you  
  
get out of my sight, the better," said Destro.  
  
Zartan crept up the stairs as Destro and the twins discussed  
  
business matters.  
  
"EEEGGGAAAWWWWDDDD," a shout rang out.  
  
Zartan appeared at the top of the stairs.  
  
"Serpentor's been shot! The emperor is dead!" 


	7. Chapter 7

"MacDestro" Chapter 7  
  
By: Cadet Deming  
  
I don't own the rights to GI Joe (or Shakespeare), so please don't sue. This is Shakespeare's play Macbeth, retooled for Cobra's High Command. I'm going more along with the plot twists and scene structure of the play than with the language of it. Some scenes condensed for brevity, others fleshed out more. Based on a blending of cartoon and comic canon. Rated PG-13 for violence, murder adult language and situations. Thanks for the good reviews !  
  
Setting: Scotland  
  
Starring:  
  
Destro................Macbeth  
  
The Baroness...........Lady Macbeth  
  
Serpentor............. King Duncan  
  
Storm-Shadow..............Banquo  
  
Billy..................Fleance  
  
Major Bludd...........Thane of Cawdor  
  
Zartan................MacDuff  
  
Dr. Mindbender..............Donalbain  
  
Torch, Buzzer, Ripper.......The Weird Sisters  
  
Scrap-Iron (when applicable).....The Weird Sisters  
  
Tomax/Xamot ................Lennox  
  
Cobra Commander.............Malcolm  
  
"The Freds".............Various soldiers  
  
The alarm rang throughout the castle.  
  
Destro, Zartan, Anastasia, the twins, and a group of Iron Grenadiers and Cobra soldiers congregated outside of Serpentor's room to as "the Freds" tried to defend themselves.  
  
"But sirs, and uh Baroness, we we're here the whole night guardin' him, honest," said Fred 321.  
  
"The whole night? This bedroom only has 1 door, and the windows are barred shut. No one could have entered through them," said Destro angrily.  
  
"Unless YOU were the ones who allowed the killer in. Maybe you're secret agents, part of a conspiracy to assassinate our great leader!" hissed the Baroness, as she took a long gulp from a glass of scotch.  
  
"We weren't part of a conspiracy man," whined Fred 323.  
  
"We were....uh..," he glanced at Fred 321 searching for an answer that wouldn't get them killed.  
  
"We were...um...er...asleep," gulped Fred 323.  
  
"Asleep! Do you expect me to believe that? My Iron Grenadiers will beat a confession out of you. IG Number 417, take these fools to the interrogation room. I'm.." he winked at a burly-looking soldier next to him. "...Absolutely certain they'll confess to being in the employ of the Joes or Interpol or the CIA or preferably, all of them."  
  
The IG winked back: "Yessir, a Number 23 comin' right up."  
  
Several soldiers started to drag the hapless men off as Fred 321 said: "Dude this ain't fair! I want a lawyer."  
  
"Yeah dude, is there a lawyer here?"  
  
Everyone turned and stared at Tomax and Xamot. The twins both looked down at the ground and started whistling "Amazing Grace" in unison.  
  
"Get them out of my sight and put them under strict surveillance. No one speaks to them without coming through me first," said Destro.  
  
The soldiers dragged the protesting septic vipers from the room.  
  
"With all due respect.," began Tomax.  
  
".confessions under pain of torture..," said Xamot.  
  
"...Have no legal validity," said both brothers.  
  
"People will confess to working for."  
  
"...Martha Stewart if you..,"  
  
"..Beat them long enough."  
  
"What do you expect us to use? Truth Serum? Besides, I think those two men have a bit of a 'chemical immunity' by now, if you ask me," said the Baroness, as she finished off the glass of scotch she was drinking and poured herself another one.  
  
"This is my estate. I'll run operations as I see fit," said Destro.  
  
"Which is precisely what got Serpentor killed in the first place. How convenient," sneered Zartan.  
  
"You DARE accuse me? How do I know you're not involved Zartan? You were the one who professed to discover him. You could have been the one who fired the shot after the guards let you in."  
  
"As if I had time. That body's been dead for at least a half-hour."  
  
"Look, these are questions a coroner viper should answer. We could have someone examine the bullet and have a ballistics expert trace it back. The killer must still be here. We can have everyone turn over their guns and trace it back to the killer that way. If it's those inept guards, we already have them in custody. If it's someone else, I'm sure they'll....confess who hired them in no time," purred the Baroness.  
  
Destro interjected: "An excellent idea my dear. We'll have everyone's weapons examined and then..."  
  
"Oh no you won't. I wouldn't walk around defenseless in front of you if my life depended on it," said Zartan.  
  
"It does, if you refuse. I'm in control of Cobra now, and I'll also charge you as the prime suspect, regardless of what time you conveniently entered Serpentor's room alone. Iron Grenadiers!" said Destro, gesturing for his troops to take aim at Zartan.  
  
Zartan growled, not like a powerful dog, but like a cornered human.  
  
"Fine. But one of these days, Destro. One of these days..," he said as he removed his guns and handed them to a nearby IG.  
  
The others handed over their weapons to Destro's minions and milled out down the hallway. The High Command members cast suspicious glances at each other.  
  
The last to leave was Storm-Shadow. "You know, my friend, it is interesting how everything is turning out the way the Drednoks predicted. Serpentor's demise is actually in your favor."  
  
"The emperor's death brings me great sadness. I will reclaim his....honor," said Destro.  
  
"I'm sure you will, Destro. I'm sure you will," said Storm-shadow coldly, as he walked away.  
  
Destro watched him the way a hawk watches a field mouse. 


End file.
